


Not Like the Others

by BrideofCrixus



Category: John Smith & OC, John Smith - Fandom, Man in the High Castle, Nightmares - Fandom, Romance - Fandom
Genre: Divorce, Eugenics, F/M, Fear, Language, Loss, Marriage Proposal, Pain, Parental Abuse, Smoking, Suffering, Useless eaters, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:27:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24111304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrideofCrixus/pseuds/BrideofCrixus
Summary: Hello everyone, I hope everyone is keeping safe and healthy. This is an idea I've had for a while since the series ended. This follows the series for the most part until Smith kills Himmler with Zyklon but imagine at that moment a side door into the office opens and there is a sharp U-turn as Smith makes a reckless decision. I hope you enjoy Smith meeting OC Elsa Himmler. There is a slow start in regards to sex, romance and passion.
Relationships: Himmler - Relationship, John Smith (Man in the High Castle)/Original Female Character(s), John Smith - Relationship, John Smith/OC
Kudos: 19





	1. Take My Hand

Chapter One: Take My Hand

John was pressing the plastic mask against his Fuhrer’s face when a side door opened, and Elsa walked in. She was looking down at a stack of papers and talking when she initially entered the room. “Father, I was reviewing the current ….,” she said before looking up, her words dying upon her lips as she dropped the papers to the carpeted floor.  
John watched the color drain from her face, leaving her pale but stunning. He spoke to her in an easy tone, “close the door and lock it.”

Elsa didn’t want to take her eyes off the man that was hurting her father and reached behind her blindly until she could push the door closed and lock it. She raised her hands in the air even though he hadn’t asked. Her mouth was suddenly too dry, and she couldn’t speak. She was paralyzed as John held the mask against her father’s face until the poison gas killed him. 

Reichsführer John Smith would forever remember the moment their eyes locked, he could see her pupils dilate with the brighter lit room and heard her intake of breath before she dropped her stack of papers and manila folders. He wanted to make her forget everything she had seen, to not be a witness to everything he had taken from her life. He saw fear birth in her deep blue eyes and wanted to take it away. 

Before he could stop himself, John stood and extended his hand towards her, the other dropped to the gun at his waist. She didn’t know he would never harm her. “Come with me or you don’t leave this office alive.”

She nodded jerkily as she let him close his hand around hers and tug her towards himself. “Let’s get your coat,” he murmured and pulled her cashmere cardigan off the coat rack. He held open the sweater and she reluctantly turned her back to him before she slid her arms through the buttery soft sleeves. He let his fingertips linger on the base of her neck after pulling the fabric into place. 

John closed his hand around her forearm and pushed open the solid oak doors. He tugged her into the waiting area outside the Fluhrer’s office and found the men supporting him waiting for his next command. 

“Your keys sir,” a cleanshaven officer said and held out a key ring. 

John observed the men waiting, “thank you for your support. Your strength will be rewarded,” he added and tucked the keys in his pants pocket. “Proceed as planned. I’m heading to location AO; I will be in contact soon.”

All of the men clicked their heels and threw their arm into the air. “Heil Fuhrer Smith.”

John pulled Elsa across the lobby and down the hall until he could tug her down the massive spiral staircase. He glanced back at her and saw her beautiful features pulled tight with fear and tension. 

The officers and staff that had defied John’s men lay dead, puddles of blood spreading around them. 

Elsa gasped and covered her mouth as she saw so many faces she recognized, faces now contorted from no longer living. 

John felt an apology come to his lips, but he swallowed it back as he tugged her more insistently to the stylish sedan. She felt her heart jump into her throat as he unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for her. 

“Get in,” he ordered evenly when she stayed rooted in place.

Elsa met his eyes and held them, “are you going to kill me?”

John held her unblinking stare for a few heart beats as he shook his head, “no.”

Elsa felt her emotions struggle to keep up as she tried to weigh his words. She slipped onto the leather seat and fought a flinch when he firmly closed the door.

John quickly slid behind the wheel and had them moving out of the city at a brisk pace. 

He glanced over at her as she had her hands clenched in her lap. He saw his words startle her as he began to speak. “We’re headed out of the city to a more secure location.”

“What’s AO mean?”

John was relieved she spoke but couldn’t divulge that to her. “That refers to the geography,” he answered vaguely. 

She returned her gaze to her clasped hands in her lap as she couldn’t find her words and cleared her throat as he kept the car moving at a steady speed.

He glanced over as she fumbled at her coat pocket and produced a silver cigarette case. 

“May I?” she asked.

He nodded and moved his eyes up the length of her sleeved arm as she stretched her fingertips to press the coiled lighter into the dash. He glanced over at her as she tentatively held out her open case towards him. “Thank you,” he said warmly and plucked an unfiltered cigarette from the quintet. She lit hers and carefully passed him the red-hot steel coils. They both felt an electric shock when their fingers brushed. 

“So, what’s my role in all of this?” she asked before taking a long slow drag off her cigarette. 

“We don’t need to discuss that right now,” he said easily. “We’ll talk in the morning after you’ve had some time to eat, clean up and sleep,” he added.

She rolled down her window a couple inches and closed her eyes as the cold air washed over her face. “Can you tell me now? I’ll never be able to get any rest if I don’t know what’s ahead.”

John took a long exhale and considered how to answer. “I have a few things I need to address as soon as we get to the OA, I’d like to have ample time to talk to you.”

“I’m supposed to just trust you?”

“With time I hope,” he murmured and glanced over at her, briefly catching her eye before turning back to look out the windshield. 

She regarded his profile as he stared at the road ahead and turned on the windshield wipers as a light rain began to fall, with the passage of miles it became near torrential. He let her have her silence as she thought about everything that had happened earlier and what he had said to her. Elsa turned her head and stared out the window, watching the passing trees go by in a blur. 

She lit up another cigarette as soon as she had smoked the other one down to a stub and nervously smashed the lit remnants into the ash tray. Elsa tugged her coat tighter around herself as their time in the car stretched to a couple hours and the light had left the sky before he took a left turn onto a road through a valley of trees and large boulders jutting from the landscape. She longed to know where they are, unanswered questions filled her brain. 

As the miles passed along the slick roadways, John glanced at her as she twisted a handkerchief in her slim fingers. He felt a momentary jolt seeing her fingers bare from any jewelry. John recalled the first moment he had seen her and every time that followed. He had memorized her wardrobe and grew to have favorites but never dared to exchange many words with the Fuhrer’s daughter. John longed to touch her hand or offer any measure of comfort but didn’t want to frighten her further.

She felt a combination of relief and nervous anticipation when he stopped the car in front of a sprawling iron gate with guard turrets. She watched an armed man approach John’s side of the car and soon threw his arm out in a salute and waved for the gates to be opened. John rolled up the window as he navigated the car to a circular driveway and soon four officers were at the car with large black umbrellas, opening the heavy doors.

Elsa was at a loss for words as the men efficiently unloaded the car and kept her shielded from every rain drop. The uniformed men escorted John and Elsa into the large stone building where she found herself awed by the thick beams in the ceiling and the ornately carved staircase. 

Her head was spinning, and she was brought back to reality when John gripped her by the elbow. She brought her eyes to his face, “this is Margot, she’ll show you to your room where you can clean up.”

Elsa looked over to find a plump blonde with deep dimples and sparkling blue eyes. The middle-aged woman gave a curtsy of sorts and gestured for Elsa to follow. 

Elsa looked back over her shoulder at John as she ascended the stairs behind Margot. She found his eyes already on her and gave her the barest of smiles when she met his eyes.   
Margot led Elsa to a large bedroom with a small sitting area. She trailed her eyes off the spacious bed with a simple dark green linen and two upholstered chairs in the sitting room. “Miss, here.”

Elsa looked over, startled out of her trance when Margot called to her from the bathroom doorway. She was running a hot bath and poured some lilac-scented soap crystals in the stream of water until the surface bloomed with translucent bubbles. 

Elsa stood in the doorway watching as Margot perched on the tub edge and ran a washcloth under the running water. She stood and turned towards Elsa who stood rooted in place in the doorway. 

Margot set a stack of beige towels and deep burgundy nightclothes near the tub before walking slowly towards Elsa. She held her hands out and spoke in a gentle tone. “Please come in, I’ll close the door. You shall have privacy,” she added as she reached for Elsa’s closest hand and gave it a light squeeze. 

Elsa felt tears of gratitude and she sniffed hard. “Thank you,” she murmured as Margot gave her hand a final squeeze and then the promised privacy and time to clean up.

Elsa heard Margot shuffling around on the other side of the door before she rubbed her eyes and began to shrug out of her clothes. She kicked off her shoes and stripped off her stained stockings. She wrinkled her nose at the pungent aroma of her nervous sweat and was grateful to finally be able to sink into the deep porcelain tub, the fragrant water slid hotly up to her shoulders. 

Elsa plugged her nose and slid under the water and let the sound of her heartbeat pound in her ears. She raised up and laid the washcloth over her eyes as her mind replayed every moment since looking up and seeing John killing her father. She had felt a mixture of fear and gratitude when her father stopped living and grabbing John’s outstretched hand because it had felt like the right thing to do. 

Elsa scrubbed her skin nearly raw before she pulled the sturdy drain plug and started to dry off. She wrapped her hair up in one of the towels and rubbed the absorbent cotton across herself until her skin was dry and tingly. She started pulling on the nightclothes and as she was buttoning the satin top her fingertips brushed across the disfigured lines of skin on her mid-section. She looked down at the thickened line of skin that trailed across her belly. She felt herself close to tears and shook her head, quickly buttoning the top closed. 

“Stop crying,” she muttered and further cursed herself as she added. “The monster who caused these is dead.”


	2. Who Hurt You?

Elsa slowly opened the bathroom door and found Margot setting some utensils next to a plate of toast, fruit and cheese. Her eyes found a steaming cup of herbal tea. Elsa smiled gratefully as she settled in the cushioned chair that Margot pulled out for her. She found she had an appetite and followed it all with the hot tea chaser. Unbeknownst to her, Margot had slipped a strong sedative in her tea so she would sleep through the night. Margot planned on sleeping on the sofa in case Elsa did stir in the middle of the night. Margot watched worry and fear crease Elsa’s face and she longed to soothe her. She knew John Smith held no ill intentions towards her.

She pulled a folded note from her pocket and passed it to her. “From Herr Smith.”

Elsa wiped off her mouth and hands with the cloth napkin before accepting and opening the note. 

“Apologies for the evening alone, Margot will be nearby for anything you may need. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

Elsa folded the note and set it beside her plate as she drained the last of her spiked tea. Margot sensed her discomfort and wanted her under the covers before the drug took hold. 

“You need rest,” Margot said authoritatively as she stood. Elsa nodded in agreement and walked over to the bed where Margot had pulled the covers back. 

Elsa slipped under the blankets and Margot tucked them around her. “Herr Smith is a good man,” Margot murmured as she closed a hand arounds Elsa’s and gave a gentle squeeze.   
Margot turned off the light and let the room be blanketed in darkness. A few hours later John Smith slowly opened the door. He crept quietly across the room to look down at Elsa’s peaceful sleeping face, wanting to crawl under the covers and pull her close. 

He inhaled deeply, hoping to catch her scent on the air. He shook Margot’s shoulder lightly until she stirred awake. He wanted to know about every moment Elsa had been out of his line of sight. Margot told him what she could. He instructed Margot to have breakfast set out and what time he would be there. She nodded and slipped back to sleep. John stalked to his room and barely slept, fighting his every cell’s desire to return to her side. He closed his eyes and recalled the moment their met as he was taking her father’s life, he had seen so much pain and fear flash across her face. He saw another emotion but couldn’t place it, he wanted to know why her eyes were full of sorrow.

Elsa slept through the night and awoke as sunlight began to stream through the windows. She sat up and found Margot carrying in a tray with coffee and assorted breakfast pastries. Elsa’s eyes landed on a dress laid across the foot of the bed, stockings and intimate garments. She covered a yawn and pushed the covers off as she slipped off the plush mattress. 

“Good morning,” she said to Margot who smiled at her in return and watched Elsa go to the bathroom and softly close the door behind her. Margot was pleased to see that Elsa’s coloring was better that morning and after a little bit, Elsa exited the bathroom and walked towards one of the chairs around the small table. 

“Herr Smith will be here soon, perhaps it would be best to get dressed first.”

Elsa nodded before she could even sit and gathered the clothes from the bed. She returned to the bathroom and changed into the snug fitting dark blue dress with pearl buttons up the front. She smoothed on the taupe stockings and returned to the bedroom to find a pair of low-heeled shoes she slipped onto her feet. 

Margot started pouring Elsa a piping hot mug of coffee when John knocked twice before he opened the door. 

“Good morning,” he said softly as his eyes found Elsa at the table. John felt tongue-tied staring at her as he joined her at the table. He gratefully accepted the porcelain mug of black coffee from Margot, eager to have a distraction for his inability to form further words. John nodded for Margot to leave and she dipped her head and scurried from the room, closing the door firmly behind her. 

Elsa murmured a greeting and then quickly moved her gaze to her cinnamon raisin pastry. 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked as he spread a thick layer of honey and raspberry preserves on a muffin. 

“Yes. Thank you,” she added quickly.

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions,” he said before taking a bite of his sticky sweet pastry. Elsa looked at him over the rim of her cup, her eyes were glued to a muffin crumb stuck on his lower lip. 

She nodded and took his silence as an indication to ask what she wanted. 

“What are your plans now that you’ve killed the Fuhrer, my father?”

John wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin, “I can’t share that with you right now.” He sounded genuinely regretful and she tried a different line of questioning. 

“Aren’t you married? With a family?”

John plucked another muffin from the cloth-lined breadbasket as his mind reread Helen’s five-page letter she had mailed to him. Most of the pages were filled with equal amounts of apologies, blame and regret. Thomas took up a whole page and it was all fiery anger and ruthless blame. 

“Helen and the children have moved away,” he finally said.

Elsa nodded and took a sip of the piping hot coffee, unsure of what to say. John watched her splash a bit more cream into her cup and stir it, setting the spoon down with a metallic clink. 

He could practically see her nerves dancing in the air around her and tried to soften his tone as he nodded towards the large window. “If you’d like Margot can accompany you on a walk around the garden.”

Elsa met his eyes, “that’d be nice.” She meant her words too, she longed for fresh air and the sight of a blue sky. “Thank you, Reichsführer Sm… Fuhrer Smith,” she added quickly and averted her gaze at her nearly empty cup. He wordlessly refilled her cup with the rich roasted brew and watched her clench her hands in her lap to keep them from shaking.   
“I’d like you to call me John,” he said easily and reached for a banana walnut muffin, steam wafted from the delicate pastry as he broke it open and drizzled it with a good amount sticky honey.

Elsa nodded and pulled apart a cinnamon roll, the sweet icing clung to her fingertips and she didn’t think twice about licking away the sugary sweetness. John nearly choked on his coffee as he followed the movement of her fingertips to her full lips. He watched her pink tongue dart out and lick her fingertips clean of the white icing. 

“Would you join me for dinner later?” he asked, trying to keep his eyes off her lips. He was certain she could read his thoughts as she met his eyes and forced himself to blink. “I’d like to show you the dining hall,” he quickly added. 

“Yes, thank you …. John,” she managed. 

John suppressed relief from showing on his face. He cleared his throat and wanted to add more but didn’t want to overwhelm her. “I’ll send Margot back with a coat for walking around outside.”

Elsa nodded, wary of his words as he added. “I have a busy day but have the evening cleared for dinner.”

She nodded again as he excused himself and closed the door behind him. She was left staring at the empty space where he had just stood. Elsa had gotten the impression that he wanted to try and reach out for her. She sensed his even stronger restraint as he kept his hands at his sides. 

John closed the door behind him and let out the breath he’d been holding. He looked down at his hands that were shaking, hands that had taken countless lives without a second thought. He couldn’t find his words when he spoke to her but had easily given the orders to cull the useless eaters and those who would rise against the Reich. 

He collected himself and found Margot in the kitchen eating a late breakfast while standing at the sink. She set down the muffin when he walked in. John gestured for her to continue eating. “Please ensure she has anything she needs; you may escort her around the property and tonight we’ll have dinner at seven.”

Margot nodded as John took his leave for the first of a seemingly endless line of meetings and updates following his forceful removal of Himmler. All throughout his meetings and conversations, Elsa remained firmly in the front of his mind. 

Margot returned to find Elsa staring out the large window, her nose pressed to the glass. She cleared her throat to get Elsa’s attention and held open a thick coat to fight off the chilly winter breeze. 

Elsa brushed her hair back nervously and slid her arms in the woolen coat and followed Margot through the near castle until a set of double doors opened into the bright sunlight and a carefully maintained rose garden. 

Elsa pulled her coat tight and followed Margot across lush lawns and steep staircases, pointing out notes of interest to the building and property. “Do you mind” Elsa asked to Margot’s back when they settled on a bench. Margot glanced back to see Elsa pulling her cigarette case out.

“Of course, miss, may I join you?”

“Please call me Elsa,” she said and patted the bench beside her.

Both women sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, each occupied in their own thoughts. As they made their way back, Elsa paused to admire a stained-glass window. When she slid her eyes to the right, they fell on John Smith speaking to a man that Elsa had seen many times. The curve of his nose was unmistakable. 

As Elsa was thinking about the last time she had seen or spoken to The Architect, John turned and caught her gaze through the clear glass. His penetrative stare startled her, she averted her gaze and moved quickly to catch up with Margot. After she returned to her room with a stack of books Margot provided her, she couldn’t forget the small smile that his lips curved into when his eyes fell on her face. 

Margot busied herself with her usual tasks while Elsa read until her eyes grew heavy and she fell into a light nap. Margot woke her up with three knocks before bringing her in a tray for lunch that was dominated by a silver cloche. Elsa yawned and stretched deeply before settling at the small table, the delectable scent of dill and bright basil hit her nose first. Margot proceeded to leave as Elsa loaded her fork with the steamed delicate salmon and called after her. “Could you, could you stay, please?”   
Margot paused before turning to face her. “If you’d like,” she said and sat down across from Elsa. “Would you like some?” she asked.

Margot couldn’t help but wrinkle her nose until Elsa giggled. “I’ll take that as a no.”

Margot couldn’t help but join her laughter before clearing her throat and sitting up straighter. “Is there something you need?” she finally asked as Elsa never looked up from her plate.

Elsa nodded and took a long sip of her tea before answering. “Did you mean what you said about trusting him, about John keeping his word?”

Margot started to nod before Elsa could finish speaking. “Yes mi… Elsa. Herr Smith is a man unlike any I have ever met, and he was destined to lead us all.”

Elsa felt her eyebrows raise as she considered Margot’s words and solemn expression. She nodded and scooped her spoon into the small mound of rice and let the perfectly cooked   
grains give her a moment of reprieve. 

“Is that what has you most afraid?” Margot asked and added as Elsa wiped her mouth with the mint green napkin. “Are you afraid Herr Smith is going to harm you?”

Elsa felt herself nod and tears sprang to her eyes as she began to feel the depth of her fear. She sniffed hard and wiped at her eyes with an unstained part of the napkin.   
Margot stood and kneeled in front of Elsa as she pulled her hands into her surprisingly strong grip. “I have known Herr John and many men in the Reich for a long time. I am terribly sorry you had to lose your father, but he should not have been leading the Reich. Herr Smith saved you for a reason that is not yet known to me, but everything he does is deliberate. You will never be somewhere safer than here,” Margot added as she reiterated each word with a squeeze to Elsa’s hands. 

“He wants to have dinner tonight,” Elsa murmured on a sniff.

“I’m well aware,” Margot said as she continued. “I have a dress for you out in the hall, dinner is being flown in, some sort of Italian fish.”

“Branzini?”

“That’s the one,” Margot said. She neglected to mention that she had scoffed at the notion of a fish being that expensive, but John was adamant. “He said you mentioned it was your favorite and I’m making a tart cherry pie; the dough is resting now.”

“That’s so thoughtful,” Elsa finally said and dropped her eyes as her mind begin to whirl. “I didn’t tell him about that fish and definitely not about dessert,” she thought and squeezed her eyes shut.

Margot gave her hands a final pat and left the room briefly only to return with a deep sapphire blue gown. The dress would leave her shoulders and the top of her chest bare; it fell in liquid silk waves to the floor. 

“That’s stunning,” Elsa breathed and set her napkin aside to trace her fingertips across the soft fabric. 

Margot smiled as she thought of Herr John seeing her join him for dinner draped in the designer fabric. 

“Would it be okay if I soak in the tub for a while?”

“Of course, I’ll bring you some tea in a few hours.”

Elsa nodded her thanks and Margot patted her shoulder before she hung the gown on the back of the bathroom door. 

Elsa let the tub fill with near-scalding water and added liquid lavender bath soap under the stream of water until she could submerge herself into the heavily scented suds. 

Elsa was too distracted by a tumultuous wave of unanswered questions that she was careless in ensuring that the bathroom door was firmly shut. Margot wasn’t trying to spy on her but caught sight of the marred skin of her back, side and belly as Elsa stripped down for her bath. Margot covered her mouth at the scarred skin that formed ridges on her naked flesh. She scurried off and immediately sought John even though he was in the middle of a meeting.

John kept his irritation at the interruption to himself and followed Margot to a quiet linen room where there were no extra eyes and ears.

“What is it?” he asked with a trace of impatience.

“I think someone hurt Elsa,” Margot started and had to quickly grip his forearm when he thought she was speaking of the present moment. 

“No Fuhrer Smith, in the past, she’s covered in scars.”

“Scars?” he asked remembering every bit of her skin that he had ever glimpsed.

John clenched his teeth until his jaw popped as he imagined someone hurting her that severely, he dismissed Margot and mumbled that dinner was to be promptly served at seven. 

He returned to his meeting but didn’t hear much of what was said, he wanted to order everyone out of his sight and find out who hurt her.


	3. I'd Like You to Consider It

The afternoon passed for Elsa with ease, she soaked in the water until it cooled and took her time drying her hair and applying a light layer of makeup. She clipped on a pair of pearl earrings that Margot had set out for her and was sliding her feet into a pair of sturdy low heels when two knocks sounded at the door before it was opened. 

Elsa met John’s eyes and watched his gaze sweep from the crown of her head, down to her feet and back up to meet her eyes. “You look very nice,” he murmured, his words almost stuck in his throat as his mind moved a mile a minute. “You’re beautiful, ethereal, I want all of you,” he thought as he cleared his throat. John smiled gently and held out a bouquet of white lilies towards her.

“Thank you, these are lovely,” she murmured and pressed her nose against the flowers. She looked back up at him and he felt his breath catch at the sight of orange pollen stuck to the end of her nose. “You’ve got something there,” he pointed and chuckled when she turned back towards the mirror. She couldn’t help but chuckle as she plucked a tissue and dabbed her nose clean. 

“I hope you like dinner,” he said lamely, struggling to find words. He was torn with memorizing at her beauty encased in the stunning gown while thinking about her marred skin under the smooth fabric.

Elsa let him lead the way down the vast staircase and down a small hall. A set of mahogany double doors opened to a large dining room with vaulted ceilings. “This is magnificent,” she breathed, and it was. 

Margot finished pouring the wine and then wordlessly retrieved the flowers from Elsa and put them in a vase she had waiting in the center of the table. 

Elsa nodded her thanks and watched a young man in a grey coat stoke the flames of the fire while another man put on some quiet music in the background. Soon it was just the two of them and John gestured towards the table. 

He pulled out Elsa’s chair for her. As she sat down, he took the smallest inhale when she moved by him, catching her warm smell. 

John watched her drag her knife through the branzini and take a small bite, he didn’t have to ask her if she liked it with the expression she made. He turned to his own plate and was pleased with the fish. He had never had it but heard her talking to her friend Greta when they would smoke on the fourth-floor balcony directly under his office. Her voice carried up to him as he sat behind his desk, each word clear as a bell. 

Elsa surprised him when she spoke as she reached for her wine glass. “How did you know I liked this kind of fish so much?”

John regarded her over the table as he set his fork down. “I heard you tell Greta,” he admitted.

She frowned, “when?”

John shrugged, “I don’t recall when exactly.”

“What were you discussing with the Architect this afternoon?”

John topped off each of their wine glasses before answering. “I’m reorganizing roles,” he said easily.

Elsa considered his non-answer and returned to her fish, she scooped up a forkful of greens and some toasted pine nuts as she debated pushing him. She also knew that men with minds like him, it would be an operation in futility to get him to say words he didn’t want to speak. 

They ate the rest of their dinner in silence until John detected the sound of one of his favorite symphonies start playing.

“Will you dance with me?”

“Now?” she asked in a surprised tone.

John nodded as he stood and walked around to her side of the table. She accepted the hand he held out towards her and let him lead her to the middle of the stone floor. He let a hand come to rest in the center of her back and closed his other hand around hers. They moved slowly to the sonnet, he longed to pull her close and eliminate the space between them.

John subtly slid his hand down the gentle curve of her lower back and tugged her closer the smallest amount. He needed to tell her a lot and wanted her close so he could feel the most minute change in her tension, temperature and breathing rate. 

“There are a couple tasks I need to attend to and will be gone for just under ten days. I’ll be leaving early tomorrow morning,” he said as he smoothed his hand up the length of her spine, the fabric smooth under his fingertips. He wondered if he was tracing over imperfections in her skin, hidden by the silken fabric.

Elsa nodded as he continued, “Margot will keep you company and provide you anything you need. There’s something I’d like you to think about while I’m gone,” he added.   
Elsa looked up and met his eyes. She felt her heart jump nervously as she nodded for him to continue. 

“I’d like you to stay here, be an equal part of my life,” he murmured and felt her body stiffen in his arms. She took a sharp breath in as he added. “I want you to be my wife.”  
Elsa stared up at him with wide eyes and found she couldn’t look away as he pulled her close enough that he eliminated any remaining space between their bodies as he doubled down on her silence. 

“I will provide for you, anything you need. You can plant the dahlia garden you’ve always wanted.”

Her gasp was audible as she remembered saying that to Greta as they shared a stainless-steel flask less within the last week. 

“You heard that?”

John nodded as she turned three shades of pink thinking of the topics of a lot of her and Greta’s balcony afternoons. “Have you heard a lot of the conversations I’ve had with her?”

John wordlessly nodded as he felt her embarrassment rise from what he might’ve over-heard. He wanted to stop her growing emotions before they became too overwhelming for her. He had lost his heart to her when he overheard her talking about how unhappy she was and often cried herself to sleep. 

“I’ll give you anything you want and need, I have the resources to follow through on that promise,” he murmured as he slowed his feet until they were nearly standing still. 

Elsa held her breath as he lifted his hand from the gently curve of her lower back and traced the pad of his thumb along her lower lip. 

“You want a lot. What if I say no?” she asked breathlessly.

“You’re as smart as you are beautiful. You have to know that regardless of what you agree to, that I can’t ever let you go.”

John watched her blink rapidly, processing his words. 

“And we’d have a real marriage?” 

“Yes,” John said easily. “A real marriage, followed by a real-life together.”

“Are you also talking about sex?” she asked, the barest tremble in her words as she met his eyes. 

“I am,” he stated, careful to keep his tone even and his words gentle. 

“Is there a timetable on when you expect that?”

“No, of course not,” he started. “But I am asking you to share a bed with me, be open to affection. To try.”

“You’re asking me?”

He was quiet for a long time and let out a slow exhale, “I’d like you to consider it.”

John could practically hear her heart began to beat harder, he smoothed his hand in slow circles on the small of her back as his words swirled in the front of her mind. 

“I’d like you to give it some serious thought while I’m away,” he reiterated.

Elsa nodded, “I will.”

John kept his expression neutral and let his eyes wander over the exposed warm skin the dress allowed. He glanced over at the ornately carved table and knew the tart cherry pie Margot had made was just under the silver cloche. 

“May I get our dessert and walk you back to your room?”

Elsa cleared her throat, “yes,” she finally managed. 

John would’ve been content to keep his hands on her until the sun fell from the sky but didn’t entirely trust himself to not pressure her for more than she wanted to give.

Elsa watched him lift the silver dome to reveal the tart pie with the golden crust, she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of it. John cut two healthy sized slices and picked up a pair of forks before he walked Elsa back up the staircase to her room. 

They both settled at the quaint table and John waited for her to take the first bite before loading his own fork with the flaky buttery crust. Elsa couldn’t keep a smile off her face as the pie hit her taste buds, she made a mental note to thank Margot the next time she saw her.

John liked seeing her smile, “I’d like to call you while I’m gone.”

Elsa set her fork down as she nodded, “if you’d like.”

“Would you like me to?” he asked quickly.

“Yes,” she stammered and took a small breath before adding. “Will you tell me what you’ve been doing? Planning?”

“Will you talk to me about a marriage and life together?” John countered and watched a gentle blush pinken her face.

“Yes,” she answered with a stronger tone.

“Then yes, I’ll fill you in on the entirety of my time away.”

John noticed the full moon outside of her bedroom window announcing the lateness of the hour. “I’ll be leaving very early but will arrange a call schedule with Margot and ensure you have privacy for our calls,” he said as he rose to his feet. 

Elsa flinched when he knelt in front of her and closed his right hand around her left hand with its bare fingers. “Were you sharing your life with anyone?” 

John noticed her right eye twitch before she shook her head. The thought of her smooth skin disfigured made him think of an abusive husband. 

She couldn’t stop herself but grow distracted by the warring softness and strength in his hands. “No one?” he asked again, wanting to hear her verbal denial. 

“There was no one,” she said meeting his eyes.

John squeezed her hand gently, “Margot will make sure you have everything you need.”

“Thank you,” she said as he rose to his feet with a small smile. She surprised herself as she jumped to her feet and grabbed his hand as he started to turn. “Thank you, thank you for not, for not killing me,” she managed to stammer and added in a stilted tone. “I know my father was not a good man.”

“I should be thanking you,” he murmured and closed the small distance between them. 

“Me? For what?” she asked on a scoff.

“For being here with me,” he said easily as he lifted a hand to trace his fingertips along her jawline and brushed his thumb across her lower lip. 

“I’m going to call you every night.”

Elsa nodded, not sure if she wanted him to try and kiss her. 

John wanted to pull her close but heard his heart beating in his ears and wasn’t sure he’d be able to contain his growing lust. He longed to ask her if he could spend the night and only share the bed with her. He knew that was probably a little untrue.

Elsa held her breath as he raised her hand to his mouth and pressed his lips to the top of her hand. John reluctantly released her and backed out of the room as she felt confusion fill her to the point that she thought she might burst. Elsa opened a bottle of amber colored alcohol that Margot had left. She coughed as the alcohol burned a path down her throat and warmed her chest and belly.


	4. Disfigured Beauty

Elsa kicked off the low heels as she made her way to the bathroom. She was just starting to shrug off her clothing when John pushed open the bedroom door, neglecting his sharp series of knocks. His eyes fell to her discarded shoes on the floor and the sound of water splashing coming from the bathroom. 

He crept silently to the bathroom doorway and peeked into the white tiled room. John felt his senses flare to life and an electric jolt run from the crown of his head to the tips of his toes as his eyes fell on her rinsing and toweling her face dry. She began to hum a familiar song as she began to shrug out of her clothing.

John’s mouth went dry as he let a hand drop to fumble at the front of his pants. He spit on his hand after he freed his hardening cock and began to stroke himself to painful rigidity as she let her black satin slip fall to the floor. His eyes widened at the sight of her naked skin and moved his hand faster on his cock. 

His eyes traced and memorized every cubic centimeter of her bare skin and zeroed in on the thick ridged scars that adorned her otherwise ethereal form. The marred skin was in a seemingly random pattern and all different textures. He gritted his teeth as he thought about the systemic violence it looked like she had endured so he could focus on his imminent climax. He yanked the handkerchief from his coat pocket as he watched her smooth a soft pink lotion onto her bare skin. 

John spilled a puddle of his hot sticky cum into the linen as she moved her hands in slow circles across her skin. He bit back a gasp and balled up the fabric as he shoved his softening cock back in his pants. He gave her nude form one last glance, a mental image to take on his time away from her before he crept out of the room just as slowly as he entered.

Elsa slipped on the fresh pajamas that Margot had laid out for her and climbed under the thick covers as John leaned against the railing of his room’s balcony, longing to return to her room.

He poured a squat glass of the same alcohol that had induced sleep for Elsa as he eventually drank enough to pass out for a few hours until he was roused from sleep by Margot. She shook her head at his state and made him a bitter home remedy and helped him bundle up for the chilly long drive. “God speed Mein Fuhrer,” she said as she adjusted his scarf.

Margot watched him drive away, knowing how much he hated leaving. She could see how much he felt for Elsa and how much want for her consumed him as he gave her solemn instructions to provide Elsa with every comfort. She nodded when he told her he would be calling every evening at eight and assured him she would ensure Elsa was comfortable. 

As John was driven away in an armored motorcade, Margot thought about the sleeping woman he was so enamored with. Margot could see her obvious beauty and shape and often found herself staring into her bright blue eyes accented by her dark hair. She smoothed her apron into place and made her way back into the estate. 

She caught up with a few correspondence tasks and put a roast into an iron pot to slow-cook all day as a few hours whittled away until Margot prepared tea and breakfast for Elsa.

The tea pot lid rattling stirred Elsa awake and she yawned deeply and pushed her mussed hair back as she greeted Margot.

“Thank you for making the pie, it was very thoughtful. And delicious,” she added warmly. 

Margot smiled genuinely and set out a few berry pastries and squares of sausage. Elsa pulled on a robe and settled at the table, she dumped sugar into the strong coffee and closed her eyes as the aroma awakened her senses.

“Would you like to take a walk around the grounds today?” Margot asked and reluctantly settled in the chair opposite when Elsa gestured to it.

“Coffee?” Elsa asked.

“Yes, thank you,” Margot said in halted syllables as Elsa continued. 

“A walk would be lovely,” Elsa said as she dropped a berry and sweetly iced pastry onto a plate and set it in front of Margot. 

“Dinner will be ready at six and Herr Smith will be calling at eight,” Margot said before she sipped her coffee.

“Don’t you address him as the Fuhrer?”

Margot was silent for a few moments, “yes,” she admitted and added in a small voice. “I didn’t want to further upset you every time you heard it with the death of your father so fresh.”

“That’s kind, I appreciate that, but you should call him by his title.”

Margot nodded in agreement, “there’s a library I can escort you to if you’d like.”

“That would be wonderful,” Elsa said and broke a pastry in half. “Do you know what John asked me at dinner last night?” Elsa asked suddenly.

Margot cleared her throat and looked everywhere but Elsa, knowing she couldn’t really deflect or stall. She nodded as she recalled her Fuhrer telling her to start looking for wedding dresses for Elsa and someone from the Reich to officiate. 

“What do you think of that?” Elsa asked as she refilled her coffee cup and topped it off with a layer of fresh milk. 

“Mein Fuhrer is sad; his eyes are filled with darkness. He is a strong man but needs someone to trust with his heart, he needs someone to love him. Could you be that for him? Know that you would not want for anything the rest of your life.”

Elsa considered her words and found herself nodding. “Yes, I just don’t know if I can give him everything he might want.”

“What do you doubt you can do?”

“Give him a child,” Elsa said ashamedly and dropped her eyes to the light brown surface of her coffee.

“How are you certain?”

“I’m certain,” Elsa said in a tone that didn’t invite further questioning.

“Mein Fuhrer does not seek or need further offspring.”

“But what about lineage, especially now?”

“Mein Fuhrer is revolutionizing the world; you will be at the helm with the man who will reshape the globe.”

“There’s something else though,” Elsa started and stopped, unsure of how to proceed.

“What is it?” Margot asked, concern creasing her forehead at Elsa’s conflicted expression. 

“I had an accident and am a little afraid of him seeing me without any clothing,” Elsa admitted and felt her face burn with color. 

“Mein Fuhrer will never see you as anything but beautiful,” Margot said and reached out and patted Elsa’s hand.

“Do you mean that?”

“Yes,” Margot said with renewed strength to her voice.

Elsa nodded thoughtfully; her head filled with more unanswered questions.

Margot watched Elsa rub her eyes with the information overload. “I’m going to run you a bath and give you some time to yourself,” she said and hurried to the bathroom. She bustled around filling the tub and adding liquid soap until the surface was covered by a layer of opalescent bubbles. She set out a fresh stack of towels as she called out to Elsa that the tub was ready.

Elsa gave her a tired but grateful smile and closed the door after Margot. This time she closed the door firmly and let the hot sudsy water wash over her as she sank deeper into the tub. She soaked until her fingers looked like prunes and slowly towel dried herself and wrapped herself back into the floral robe. She found a light grey dress and cashmere cardigan on the bed that Margot had set out before she left. 

She dressed leisurely and found the tea still lukewarm and sipped on that and sat on the window seat being bathed by sunlight when Margot returned to fetch her for an outdoor walk. 

The two women walked in silence for a while, just enjoying the brisk air. Margot longed to pepper her with questions about the alleged accident that resulted in the very deliberate looking scars on her body. 

Elsa looked up and gave a startled gasp as John stood at the base of the lawn in front of a stacked rock wall. 

Margot hung back as they walked towards each other. “Don’t you have obligations that you need to be attending to?” she asked with surprise at seeing him standing in front of her. 

“I moved every meeting to here, I couldn’t leave the city,” he admitted.

Elsa covered a smile that was torn between fear and pleasure. 

“Will you walk with me?” he asked and held out his hand towards her.

Margot felt her heart leap when Elsa let him close his hand around hers and she watched the two of them walk away. 

John felt his heart grow too big for his chest when Elsa let him hold her hand. They walked around the estate in silence for a few minutes. 

John let his mind wander as he recalled the anguish of every moment away from her. He had settled in the Mercedes as the green-eyed driver navigated the damp early morning roads. Daybreak was just beginning when he knew he’d never be able to make it any further away from her without his heart ceasing to beat. 

He had instructed the driver to turn around and return to the heavily defended estate. He added a quick detour that the driver followed without question and forced a shopkeeper out of bed and provide John with the sparkling item he demanded. 

John shook himself back to reality and broke the silence first. “I know I said you had a lot longer to think about a marriage and life with me, but have you been giving it thought? Anything you’re thinking?”

As he spoke, he slipped his free hand in his pants pocket and breathed an anticipatory sigh at feeling the rounded edges of the velvet ring box. 

Elsa nodded, “I have been thinking about it but I need to tell you something that might change your mind, I’m afraid of what you’ll do,” she admitted as her voice cracked and she sniffed hard as tears stung her eyes. 

John stopped walked and tightened his grip on her hand so he could boldly force her into the circle of his arms. 

She gave a surprised gasp that hit John’s ears and made an electric path through his body, he felt his cock stir as he pulled her close and gripped her chin until she had to look him in the eyes. “There is nothing you could ever say that would make me not want you.”

“You can’t say that,” she said as she tried to shake her chin free of his grasp and added breathlessly. “I’m broken, a useless eater.” John frowned at her words and caught her wrists as she pushed at his chest.

“Why would you say that?” he asked and tried to wrestle her into his arms without hurting her. “Please stop fighting and talk to me,” he added and finally roughly twisted one hand up and behind her back until she gave a yelp at the instant flash of pain. 

John was relieved when Elsa stopped struggling and looked anywhere but his face as he lessened his grip enough to ease the sharp pain. 

“Talk to me,” he ordered and yanked her flush against the front of his body. 

“I’ll never be able to fulfill all the obligations of the Fuhrer’s wife,” she whispered and felt a tear escape her right eye and roll down her flushed face. 

“How do you mean? You’re here.”

More tears sprang from her eyes as she spoke in broken syllables. “I can’t ever give you children,” she admitted and sagged against him. 

John released one of her hands and traced his fingertips down the line of wet tears on her face. “I don’t want you to have any children, I’m not going to share you with anybody,” he murmured and dipped his head to lightly press his lips to hers. 

Elsa initially stiffened before she allowed him to kiss her more insistently, she let him pull her closer as a warm shiver trickled down her spine. 

John was bolstered by the tension that drained from her body as he kept her pressed against the front of his body. He darted his tongue into her mouth as he released her captured wrist and flattened his hand against the curve of her lower back. He suppressed a shudder as he felt his cock begin to grow uncomfortably hard behind his pants closure.

He growled in frustration that he couldn’t feel her bare flesh under his hands. “I bought you something that I’d like to show you, let’s go inside.”

Elsa nodded and made an agreeable sound as he captured her lips against his and reluctantly released her and led her through the arched entrance and up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, instead of turning towards her room, John led her in the opposite direction to a set of large double doors that he unlocked. 

John held the door open for her and she took a few steps onto the dark hardwood floor and panned the room. A large desk dominated the corner of the room and a four-poster bed in the same wood grain was right in front of her. Elsa ran her eyes over the ivory colored linen before turning back to watch him close the door. 

“This is your room?” she asked lamely.

John nodded and gestured at a pair of upholstered armchairs, “please sit. Would you like something to drink?”

“Yes, thank you,” she said and sank into one of the plush sturdy-backed chairs. 

John poured two healthy glasses with an amber alcohol from a heavy crystal decanter. He settled in the other chair after he handed her a squat glass. 

“May I ask you something?” he asked after she had taken a few sips. 

“Sure,” she said with a shrug.

“Why did you think not having my children would change the way I look at you?”

Elsa cleared her throat and stared down at her glass. “Because I’m defective, don’t you need a successor? Want one?”

John shook his head, “I don’t Elsa. I just want you.”


	5. An Invitation

Elsa felt a slow blush fill her face under the weight of his stare and she drained her glass in three gulps. The alcohol burned a hot path down her throat and warmed her chest and belly. 

He set his glass on the small table between them and walked to his desk and opened the bottom right drawer. Elsa watched him lift out a gift-wrapped package with a red ribbon tied into a neat bow. 

“What’s this?” she asked as she accepted the gift from him. 

“I’m certainly not going to spoil the surprise,” he teased and sat back in the chair and retrieved his glass. 

She opened the package and peeled away a layer of tissue paper to find a crimson red silk nightgown with a lacy neckline. Elsa traced her fingertips over the delicate gown. “This is beautiful,” she finally said and looked up at him as she replaced the tissue paper. 

“I’d like you to put it on,” he murmured and watched her unable to keep the surprise off her face.

“Put it on, now?”

He nodded, “I’d very much like to see you wearing it.”

Elsa covered her mouth as she coughed and laughed nervously simultaneously. “No, I don’t think I can do that right now,” she managed and felt a sudden wave of panic wash over her as he rose to his feet upon her uttered refusal. 

She held her breath and clenched the glass tight in her hand as he knelt in front of her. John pulled the glass from her tight grip and set it aside before he grasped her left wrist and lifted her hand to his mouth. Elsa heard her heart pounding in her ears as he pressed his lips to her ring finger. 

“I’d really like to see you wearing it,” he breathed as he pulled the ring box free from his pocket and released her hand long enough to open the hinged velvet box and present the magnificent pear-shaped diamond ring. “I’d like you to wear this too,” he murmured and pulled the ring free.

Elsa couldn’t find her breath or her words as he continued, “will you?”

She blew out a slow breath. “He hasn’t hurt you, he can’t just be biding his time,” she thought as she blinked her eyes and felt herself begin to nod. “Yes,” she whispered hollowly and watched a genuine smile reach all the way to his eyes as he slipped the brilliant ring onto her finger. 

John trapped Elsa in his potent gaze, “please put on the gown.” 

Elsa swallowed hard and fumbled for the unwrapped gift box as he stood and let her have room to pass by him. She closed herself in the bathroom and dropped the box onto the tiled floor. She rubbed her eyes, “put it on, go out there and just drink a lot,” her mind said resignedly.

She slipped out of her dress, stockings, and lingerie before pulling the gown over her head where it fell around her in a silken wave. Elsa smoothed her hands down the smooth fabric, and she was grateful to see a thin robe in the same color. She pulled the robe on and tied the belt into a loose bow.

She slowly opened the bathroom door and padded back to the pair of chairs where John had remained sitting. Elsa was pleased when her eyes fell upon her glass that he had refilled. 

John felt his hardening cock pulse with desire as he let his eyes travel from the crown of her head to the glimpse of her bare toes. He didn’t like the robe covering her and recalled watching her change and wanting to see more of her bare skin. 

He had seen her eyes dart to her glass when she returned and picked up her glass and closed the distance between them. 

He passed her the glass which she accepted gratefully, and she quickly drank half the alcoholic contents, eager to feel the soothing balm of the alcohol. Elsa froze in place as John reached out and tugged at the belt of her robe. She let him untie the loopy bow of her belt and push the silk fabric off her shoulders where it landed in a soundless silken puddle.   
John bit back a satisfied moan as his eyes drank in the gown that sensually hugged her curves and left the top of her chest bare. He could see her hardened nipples pressed against the fabric and he fought himself to not strip her bare and fuck her without grace.

He settled his hands on her hips and moved them in slow circles, remembering exactly what her skin looked like under the soft fabric and began to tug the gown upwards. Elsa dropped her hands to his wrists to stop him from lifting her gown further out of place. 

John paused his hands and thought of a thousand questions he wanted to ask. 

He wrapped her up in his embrace and crushed her to his chest. “Talk to me,” he murmured into the curve of her neck. 

“I’m afraid,” she said and turned her face to the side as he kept his arms locked tightly around her. 

“What are you afraid of?” he asked.

“I’m afraid of you seeing me,” she admitted, her tone heavily steeped in embarrassment. 

John moved a bit away from her and reached out to trace his fingertips along the line of your jaw. “All I want to do is look at you, you’re so beautiful.”

Elsa looked past his shoulder as he raked his eyes over her, feeling a heaviness in his groin as his cock ached for release. “Put your hair down,” he demanded raggedly and watched her hesitate for a few breaths before reaching up and freeing her hair from its low bun. He murmured appreciatively as he swept up the long dark strands in one hand. He watched her bite her lower lip before she began to speak rapidly, stumbling over her words. “I had an accident and it left me with some unsightliness.”

“Let me look at you,” he whispered and was grateful that she met his eyes. “No part of you is anything less than perfect,” he growled and resumed tugging her gown upwards. 

“Come lay down with me,” he added on a husky demand and pulled her towards the bed. She put one foot in front of the other and let him lead her. John kept his grip on her wrist firm as he pulled back the linen and sat on the pale sheet. 

Elsa closed her eyes when he released her wrist and wrapped his arms around the middle of her body. She let herself settle her hands on the tops of his shoulders as he pressed the side of his face against her chest and the top of her belly. 

He began moving his hands in small circles over her body that was draped in the silky fabric. He looked up at her and in the light coming through the window behind her she looked like she was glowing. 

He felt his resolve waning and swore at himself for asking her to put on the gown. He started to pull the gown up her thighs and let her think she paused his hands when she dropped her hands to his wrists. 

John groaned and stood so fast she didn’t register it. He man-handled her onto the mattress and pinned her arms above her head to the soft surface of the mattress. He transferred the grip of her slim wrists to one of his hands and covered her mouth in case she started shouting. 

“Shhh….I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispered.

He lifted his hand from her mouth and trailed his fingertips down her side. Elsa began squirming as he pushed the gown up her thighs. “Please show me what you think affects your beauty,” John murmured.

“I don’t want you to see,” she said and tried to pull her thighs together.

“Is our marriage not going to have any intimacy?”

Elsa stumbled over her words, “no, but we haven’t talked about what that looks like.”

John pushed her gown up to her hips and she gave a startled cry when his fingertips brushed against the thickened ridge of scar tissue. “I want to touch you,” he said on a moan as his eyes landed on the bare skin of her belly and naked femininity. 

He felt his cock grow harder as he fumbled at his pants closure and freed his growing rigidity. 

John looked up the length of her body until he could meet her eyes. He saw fear openly painted across her face and knew he was being too aggressive and needed to stop frightening her. 

“I’ll let go of your wrists if you don’t try to run away,” he said until she nodded. “Don’t make me regret it,” he added to make sure she heard him. He let go of her wrists and eagerly returned his hands to her body. Elsa struggled to not push her gown back into place as his fingertips slid over her scars that ran in tangled intersections across her body. He moved his other hand to stroke the length of his hardening cock. Elsa felt her breath stay trapped in her lungs as he smoothed his hands over her naked skin. She risked angering him by reaching down and stopping him from dropping his head to the apex at the top of her thighs. 

John paused and looked up at her, “not that,” she said in a tone full of panic.

He never stopped stroking his cock as his other hand moved along the smooth curves of her hips and thighs, his breath grew faster as he trailed his fingertips against the inside of her thigh. He longed to sink himself inside her but knew that would be pushing her too far. John settled closer to her and slid his hand to cradle the back of her skull as he captured her lips with his. Elsa moaned against his mouth and he didn’t need any more encouragement to reach for the closest corner of the linen as his orgasm became inevitable. He shuddered as he spilled his sticky come onto the cotton bedding. 

John’s breathing took a while to slow and he shifted until he could pull her against him, her back flush against his chest. 

He chuckled and nestled his face in the curve of her neck. “I missed you,” he murmured pulling the linen up and around them. 

Elsa gave a small smile that she couldn’t see and let him mold himself behind her until no space remained between their bodies. 

They both lapsed into a light doze until he snapped awake, already hours behind on calls he had to make, letters to read and meetings with people that were already in route. Elsa heard him swear softly and sit up, making the covers slip off both of them. 

“Are you okay?” she asked as she watched him straighten his clothes.

“I have so much I need to get you but don’t want to leave this bed,” he admitted and met her eyes. 

“I understand how much you must be facing now that you’re the, the, uh Fuhrer,” she managed. 

“I apologize for upending your life and taking your father away from you.”

“Did you have him buried in the Reich-sanctioned cemetery?”

“Should I tell her the truth?” he thought and mentally tossed a coin. 

“No,” he finally said. “I ordered him cremated.”

“Good,” she muttered and pulled the bed linen up and around her partial nudity. 

John fought his body’s surge in lust and desire to return his hands to her bare skin. He nearly had to shake his head to clear the slideshow imagery of his desires that had bloomed in the front of his mind. “I’ll send Margot in to check on you, I’ll be busy most of the day but would like for you to join me for dinner here tonight,” he said and crossed the room to sit next to her on the bed when she nodded. 

He closed his fingers around her wrist and lifted her hand to his face. She held her breath as he pressed his lips to the top of her hand. His breath tickled her skin as he murmured after lifting his lips. “I’m looking forward to seeing you this evening Elsa.”


	6. Unavoidable Circumstances

She swallowed hard under the weight of his stare. He saved her from having to force herself to speak when he let go of her wrist and patted the top of her hand. 

Elsa watched him leave and laid back down on the firm mattress. She stared up at the ceiling until her bladder made her get up. She gathered her clothes and cleaned up in the spotless bathroom. Elsa snooped under the sink and was greeted by John’s minimal toiletries.

Elsa loitered a while longer in the bathroom and was about to peek through his closet when Margot knocked at the bedroom door before opening it. 

“Do you play tennis mi… Elsa?”

Elsa raised her eyebrows in surprise, “as often as I can.”

“There’s a lovely court here but no one uses it. Would you care to join me in a game or two?”

The two women chatted about their shared love of the sport as Elsa followed Margot through the long hallways of the estate until they reached a set of double doors that opened up to a rock garden and immaculate tennis court a little further past. 

Margot showed Elsa where the rackets were, the two women didn’t talk much as they changed into some clothes that were more fitted for the exertion. 

While John was in meetings all day, Elsa played tennis with Margot for hours until they were both exhausted. The two made their way to the kitchen where Margot put together lunch for them. Elsa rooted around the fridge and poured them each a glass of white wine.

Margot stared at Elsa over the rim of her glass as she sipped the chilled chardonnay. She furrowed her brows as she scrutinized her for any signs of trouble, pain, or renewed fears. 

She sensed Elsa’s confusion and reached out a hand. “Is everything okay dear?” she asked as she patted the top of Elsa’s hand. 

Elsa blew out a breath and shrugged. “So much has happened and I’m overwhelmed. I don’t know who or what I can trust anymore.”

Margot watched Elsa fight back tears as she consumed the whole glass in four swallows before sniffing hard and pinching her brow. 

“You can trust me,” Margot started as she refilled both of their glasses. “You can trust Fuhrer Smith,” she added.

“I can?” Elsa asked and swirled the wine in her glass. 

Margot nodded her head as she sat back down. “If you let Fuhrer Smith, he will provide you with everything. Just try and open your heart to him, he is hurting.”

Elsa nodded and stared down at the lush berries on her plate and popped one in her mouth. 

Margot’s mind recalled the image of Elsa’s scarred bare skin and knew she had to be just as familiar with pain and suffering. 

“You can talk to me,” Margot murmured and speared a broccoli floret with her silver fork tines. 

Elsa looked across the table at Margot and reached for the brass cigarette case after pushing her plate away. 

“You’ve got to be familiar with my father’s eugenics and selective breeding study?”

Margot nodded as Elsa look a long drag off her cigarette and continued.

“My mother passed when I was young, and my father didn’t know what to do with me. I was supposed to be born a boy. When Dr. M. was talking to him about the study, my father got the idea that I could be part of giving birth to the first of the master race,” Elsa explained and added with a snort, “since his genes are so superior and ideal.”

Margot watched Elsa gather her words and waited patiently for her to continue.

“I was impregnated in a lab, with techs in surgical gowns. I miscarried every one of the pregnancies,” she said softly and stared down at her left hand with the brilliant sparkling ring. “I ended up needing a hysterectomy, I’ll never be able to give John what he needs.”

“You’ll be able to give him yourself,” Margot said and reached over and patted her hand as she added. “Above all, he needs your love.”

Elsa smiled gratefully as she considered Margot’s words. 

John’s voice from the kitchen entryway made them both flinch in their seats, “ladies?”

Margot rose from her chair, “do you need something Mein Fuhrer?”

“Not at all, I was going to grab something to eat before my next meeting.”

“I will prepare that for you,” Margot said and rushed to the counter to start assembling a plate for him. John only looked at Elsa as he walked further into the kitchen. “Don’t trouble yourself, I’d like you to check in with Hans about the afternoon delivery.”

“Of course,” Margot said and wiped her hands with a tea towel before scurrying out and giving them privacy. 

“Do you have everything you need?” John asked as he finished putting together the sliced meat sandwich on the hearty bread and joined Elsa at the table. 

She poured a little more wine in her glass and gestured to an empty glass in front of him. “No thank you, I still have a busy afternoon in front of me. Do you have everything you need?” he repeated.

“Yes, I do. Thank you,” she added after a lengthy pause. 

John noticed her expression but set it aside to discuss later as he rose from his seat and folded the linen napkin carefully before replacing it on the table. “Would you like me to send Margot back in?”

Elsa was slow to answer, “could I have some time to maybe sit and read for a bit instead?”

John smiled in what he hoped was warm and inviting as he extended his left hand towards her. 

She surprised them both by reaching for his wrist and turning his hand palm up before she traced her fingertips on his non-working man’s hand. Elsa frowned at his smooth hand and strength in his body under her light touch. “Do I want him touching me?” she asked herself before letting him close his hand around hers as he led her down a dim hall that led   
to a large library that was dominated a bay window perfect for relaxing into a safe world of letters and pages. 

“Will this suffice?” he asked as he gently squeezed her hand. 

Elsa blinked her eyes rapidly at the floor to ceiling bookshelves, “this is incredible,” she started before a sudden rush of emotions poured over her and she pulled her hand free of his. John watched in equal states of concern and confusion as she pulled a book at random from the closest shelf and didn’t even bother to open it before she slid the book back to its waiting shadowed crypt on the shelf. 

“Are you quite all right Elsa?” he asked as he quickly closed the distance between them until he could stand behind her and gently let his hands fall to her tense shoulders. “What is it?” he asked as he began to work his thumbs in slow circles behind her neck. She let her eyes fall closed at his seeking touch and mumbled something too low for him to be able to detect.

“What did you say?” he murmured and brought his lips to the side of her ear. His hot exhale tickled her skin and she took in a deep breath to keep from giggling or squirming. 

“Talk to me,” he murmured.

“It reminds me of my father’s library,” she finally repeated and tried to take a step away from him. He quickly closed his arms around her and pulled her back against his broad chest. 

“Do you regret taking my hand?” he murmured before he pressed his lips to the top of her head. 

Elsa shook her head, “I’d been wanting to get away from him for nearly my whole life,” she managed before her voice threatened to break. She sniffed hard as tears pricked her eyes and threatened to roll down her face. “I don’t know why I’m crying; I don’t mourn the loss of my father.”

“A lot has happened in a short amount of time,” John whispered in a gentle tone and urged her to turn around and face him. 

She wiped at her eyes before she turned and looked up at him. He smoothed his hands down the outside of her arms until he could grasp her hands. John glanced backwards as he guided her to the sunny window seat and onto the firm cushion wrapped in a delicate pinafore patterned silk. 

Elsa let him pull her against him until virtually no space remained between their bodies.

“May I ask about the accident you had?” he murmured.

Elsa looked down at her hands before answering. John plucked her left hand from her lap and pressed his lips to the brilliant ring. “Please talk to me,” he whispered as he lifted his lips. 

She took a deep breath and repeated most of what she had said to Margot earlier. She left out some of the finer details when it came to the abuse coming directly from her father.

John clenched his teeth until his jaw hurt when she omitted that it was her father who abused her and instead threw out a random man’s name. 

“How did you come to be near this man?”

“He was in my father’s cabinet,” she answered quickly.

“Where is this man now?”

“He’s dead,” Elsa said as she looked up at him and held his eyes for a few heart beats.

“Yes, he is,” John thought. 

John knew he had to get back to his next meeting, the Architect was returning to review the next step of building John’s Reich. He sighed heavily and reluctantly loosened his hold on her as he murmured his regrets at needing to leave.

“I’ll send Margot to check on you in a while.”

Elsa smiled her thanks as John rose to his feet, pulling her upright with him as he stood. 

“I don’t want to leave,” he admitted as he cupped her chin and traced the pad of his thumb over her lower lip. 

After John left Elsa to have some time to herself, she walked the perimeter of the room a few times just to take in the décor and trace her fingertips over the row upon row of leather-bound books.

The afternoon passed and Margot came to fetch Elsa as the sun began to go down. She had laid out a different dress for Elsa and already had the tub filled. 

Elsa bathed and changed before Margot returned. Elsa was surprised that Margot led her to John’s room where a small table was set with a roasted chicken, root vegetables, full glasses of red wine and a linen lined bowl of plump buttery rolls. 

Elsa had taken just one sip of wine after Margot left before John appeared. His eyes found her and traveled over the bare skin her dress showed. He hadn’t been entirely present all afternoon after having to force himself from her side. 

“How was your afternoon?” he asked as he settled across from her.

“It was nice, thank you for showing me the library,” she said and speared a chunk of carrot off her plate. “How was yours?” she added as he dragged his knife through the tender chicken thigh. 

“I didn’t get as much done as I intended,” he admitted not adding that he couldn’t take his mind off her.   
They ate in silence as they filled their bellies with the savory chicken dish and flaky rolls drenched in butter. John refilled her wine glass before he settled back in the sturdy chair and plucked another roll from the wooden bowl. 

“I’d like you to stay with me here tonight,” John said abruptly as he pushed his plate away and refolded his napkin. 

“This was unavoidable,” Elsa thought as she nodded. 

John kept his expression neutral as she nodded. He felt a swell of joy and fought the urge to yank her out of her chair and bury himself inside her. John gestured at the fireplace; thankful the chilly night was on his side as he sought any possible distraction. “It’s going to get cold tonight; I’m going to build a fire.”

Elsa had noticed the growing chill and agreed gratefully. 

She watched John construct strips of paper and thin pieces of wood before touching it with a flaming matchstick. The flames licked the wood as it consumed the paper and began throwing heat into the massive room.


	7. Interruptions

After the flames were eagerly consuming the logs of wood and shreds of paper, John rejoined Elsa at the table. She had pushed her plate away and wiped the crumbs from the rolls off her fingers as he sat down across from her. 

He had a million things he wanted to say and ask, overriding everything was how much he longed to possess every part of her. He topped off his glass as he tried to get his words in order, right before he could speak, a series of sharp and rapid knocks sounded from the locked bedroom door. 

John muttered a profane phrase under his breath as he opened the door to find one of his first lieutenant’s reporting urgently that there had been an assassination attempt on the Architect’s life. John was immediately needed on the phone. He told his lieutenant he would be there shortly and was carefully to not slam the door.

“Is everything okay?” Elsa asked before he turned from the door. 

John sighed heavily and tried to smile at her. “There’s something I need to attend to immediately, I will return as soon as I can,” he said as he walked towards her. He grasped her wrists and trailed his hands up the outside of her arms and pulled her close. “Please relax and get some rest,” he murmured and pressed his lips to her forehead. 

Elsa watched him leave and she found herself holding her breath when he turned to look back at her when he opened the door. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, I’d like you to change into the nightgown I bought you.”

His eyes bled to black as his lust engorged his nervous system and caused a dull ache in his groin as he leveled his gaze at her unblinkingly. Elsa swallowed hard and nodded, proud of herself for being able to keep her eyes locked with his intense stare. 

Elsa watched the door close and stared at it for a few beats before kicking off her uncomfortable shoes and refilling her glass, she could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears as she settled on the round area rug in front of the roaring fire. She drank heavily, anxious for the alcohol to calm her nerves. Elsa drained her glass before walking slowly to the neatly made bed and staring down at the nightgown that was laid across the linen. 

She looked back over her shoulder at the door before slipping out of her dress and lingerie and slipping the liquid silk gown over her head. She ran her hands down the silken fabric that hugged her curves. Elsa plucked the bottle from the table where the remnants of their dinner remained and returned to settle in front of the blaze. She closed her eyes and let herself be bathed in the warmth from the fire as she nursed another glass. 

Elsa eventually consumed enough of the potent amber colored liquor that she easily slipped into a heavy drunken sleep. As she snored in front of the fire, John was able to get a lot of the fires contained and dispatched scores of people to carry out his orders. He was angry and spit fiery words at a trio of men who were found to have been trying to undermine the reign of Fuhrer Smith. 

By the time he was on his way back to his room, nearly running, several hours had passed. He opened the door slowly and his eyes fell on her laying on her side in front of the dying fire. John felt some of his anger instantly melt away as he sank next to her sleeping form, his lust surged, and he felt electric as he scooped her off the floor and settled her onto the bed. He moved her around until he could get her tucked under the covers. Elsa barely stirred under the potent stranglehold of the alcohol. 

He wanted to shake her awake and demand she give him her body but was able to force himself to slip out of his clothes and take a hot shower. John was still restless when he joined her under the covers but eventually fell into a fitful sleep.

He was plagued with dark dreams and toxic imagery of Elsa being beaten. John began to mutter and moan in his sleep as his dreams were filled with a Himmler that wouldn’t die. He began to grow louder as he relived the moment of extending his hand to Elsa over and over, each time, the outcome was more disturbingly fatal. He couldn’t save her and watched her perish in front of him, each time more gratuitous than the time before. 

He was helpless and unable to defend himself while he traversed the world of dreams. Elsa was stirred awake when John began talking in his sleep. At first his words were barely decipherable and then they took on more flesh and she realized he was pleading repetitively, “don’t, don’t leave me.”

Elsa stirred awake as John began to mumble in his sleep next to her. She rolled over and sat up as she watched sweat blossom on his bare skin. He muttered and thrashed under the linen before she started whispering to him and squeezing the tops of his shoulders. “Shhhh, you’re okay,” she murmured as he slowly swam to consciousness. 

He rubbed his face as Elsa quickly skipped to the bathroom to soak and wring out a washcloth. “It’s okay,” she murmured as she moved the cloth against the heated skin of his forehead. She hummed that same familiar tune to him as she smoothed the damp cloth down his neck and across the bare flesh of his broad chest. Elsa refolded the fabric into a rectangular shape and moved the cool cloth across his flushed skin.

He fully woke up under her gentle touch as she moved the damp fabric over his face and neck, in the dim room she could barely make out his features. But she clearly recognized grief and pain painted on his expression. 

“You were dreaming, you’re okay,” Elsa whispered and smoothed the damp cloth across his cheekbones. 

John opened his eyes and found himself staring up at her as she continued to move the cloth in a gentle path down his neck, “you’re okay.” 

Elsa caught a glimpse of his raw need and vulnerability and wanted to soothe him, she stared at his chapped lips before setting the cloth aside and cupping her hand to the side of his face. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. Lust pushed aside everything thing else in his mind for a moment as John pulled her hard against his body. 

“Is it okay?” he asked hoarsely as his hands smoothed across her body, moving her gown out of the way so he could find her bare skin. “Is it?” he repeated as he urged her thighs apart until he could insinuate himself closer. 

In the moonlight he saw Elsa nod and heard her murmur an agreeable sound before she allowed him to peel the silky gown free until he could let his hands freely roam her naked body. He felt her tension as he handled her too roughly and tried to stop himself from man-handling her but still tore the delicate fabric of her gown. 

Her gasp made his cock so hard it hurt. The visuals from his nightmares still danced behind his eyes in the dim room and he groaned raggedly as he smoothed a hand up the inside of her thigh and cupped her bare femininity. “Elsa, I,” John started to say before he lost the ability to utter coherent sentences and felt his cock begin to bob with need as he restrained himself from filling her without any preamble. 

Elsa lifted a hand and cupped his jaw. She brushed her thumb along his lower lip as she whispered. “Please make this mean something,” she murmured. John wordlessly dipped his chin and pressed his lips to hers. While their lips were in union, he gripped a handful of her hair in one hand and tightened the fist that was entangled in the silken strands until he could make her gasp again from underneath him.

He teased a couple of his fingertips along her wet sensitive folds until her thighs began to tremble and she lowly moaned at the sudden feel of his intimate touch. An involuntarily moan escaped her lips as John started to probe her delicate folds with his fingertips.

John lost control of his lust and dropped a hand to stroke the length of his rigidity before teasing the head of his cock against her wet opening. 

“Talk to me,” he whispered.

Elsa couldn’t help but shake her head as a nervous giggle slipped from between her lips. “What do you want me to say?”

“I want to know how you’re feeling, what’re you thinking about in regard to a future as my wife.”

“You know you can only say yes if you want any semblance of a life or existence,” her mind gently reminded. 

“Yes, I’ll be your wife. But I don’t want to be kept in the dark about what kind of changes you’re implementing and who you’re meeting,” she said lowly as he dropped his face until their lips were a hair away from meeting, his fingers never stopped teasing her nerve center to life. 

“What else do you want?”

Elsa felt her face fill with color and couldn’t tear her eyes away from his as his touch made her thighs began to tremble and a light sheen of sweat sprouted on her forehead. 

John’s lips pulled into a small smile. “Talk to me,” he said in a tone that was heavily steeped in pleading and never broke contact with her eyes. He kissed her until she was breathless, not giving her a chance to speak. 

John wanted to apologize for insisting and refrain from man-handling her but felt himself drown in the intoxicating feel of her body and warm smell of her naked skin. Looking back, John would always feel terrible that he capitalized on her kindness and manipulated her into intimacy. 

He lifted his lips for a brief moment as he pushed himself inside her with several assertive thrusts. He pressed his lips to hers as he filled her too rapidly, their intimate flesh kissing and her body stretching to accommodate him. He swallowed Elsa’s cries as he began to move in and out of her in a steady rhythm, burying himself at the end of each thrust. John felt her thighs shake as she lifted her hands and settled them lightly on his hips as he filled her. 

John bit back a groan as he plunged in and out of her body, their bodies kissing each time he fully sheathed himself inside her.

Elsa felt his strength and power as he shifted above her and started to move in a slow and even rhythm, supporting most of his weight on his elbows. Each time he filled her his body begged for him to climax. While John willed his control to hold fast, he resumed the slow circles against her sensitive nub of flesh at the apex of her femininity.

“You’ll marry me?” he groaned as he shifted and changed his rhythm before grabbing her left hand and bringing it to his mouth. 

Elsa moaned as she mumbled a yes, his lips so warm on her ring finger. 

John could feel his control beginning to wane but didn’t want the sensation of filling her to end. He had a fleeting realization when he thought of his previous life with Helen that he had never craved her in the way he did Elsa. He had never had his head spin if he spent too much time thinking about her.

Elsa felt near overwhelmed at the feel of his body sliding in and out of her and the feelings he was creating with his touch. 

A low moan tumbled from her lips as her climax surprised her as it ripped through her body, John slid a hand from her hip to rest at the base of her spine. He reveled in the sensation of her body squeezing around his cock, almost as though it was trying to milk him dry. 

He mumbled incoherently as he returned both hands to her hips and squeezed until bruises adorned her flesh within the hour as he emptied himself inside her. John’s toe’s curled with the intensity of his orgasm and he gasped her name as he pressed his lips to her neck.

“Don’t leave me too,” he said in a voice so low she almost didn’t hear him.

She could hear the need saturating every syllable.

“I’m right here,” she whispered. She surprised herself more than him when she circled her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his ear. “I’m right here,” she whispered on a slow exhale as he remained sheathed inside of her.

Both of their breathing remained erratic and no other sound filled the room. Eventually, John shifted enough so she could roll to her side and he could mold himself behind her. 

“Tell me that again,” John raggedly whispered, anxious to hear her repeat herself. 

“I’m right here,” Elsa whispered before he pulled the linen up and around them and watched her trace her fingertips over his uniform jacket that he had casually tossed on the surface of the bed. 

He remained silent as she traced her fingertips over a gold trident that was the very one her father had taken from his own jacket and pinned to John’s chest. 

“I’m like any other man without the uniform.”

“No, you’re not,” she said with a scoff and added as she traced the eagle outlined in gold on his collar. 

“My father was eventually going to kill me,” she murmured and stared down at the bed linen. “What did you say?” he asked as he fully sat up, the linen leaving his upper body bare. 

“Nothing important,” she murmured and tugged the covers around herself as she shifted until she was as comfortable as she could hope for at the moment. 

John had heard her and had wanted her to repeat herself, he wasn’t surprised she didn’t. “Don’t push her,” he chastised himself.

He settled under the covers and pulled her back into his arms. He was relieved that her body wasn’t entirely rigid and smoothed his hands over her warm, bare flesh. 

John felt fatigue pulling at him and squeezed her tighter in his embrace until she began murmuring and turned towards him in the circle of his arms. 

He buried his face in the curve of her neck as she rested her head on his chest, his strong heartbeat was loud under her ear and she slid her arms around his waist. 

“I’m right here,” Elsa whispered and pressed her lips above his heart. 

“I’ll give you the world,” John murmured as he smoothed his hand from the crown of her head to the curve of her lower back.


End file.
